Without Him, I Am Nothing (One-shot)
by LadyRin999
Summary: After a long busy week with Brotherhood of Steel duties, Eva finally comes home to her lover, Danse. That night, Eva discovers her biggest fear... Rated M: Contains sex scene.


**_As featured on my Tumblr blog:_ ****saiyuri-thedragonborn**

 ** _Just a one-shot of my Sole S. OC, Eva and Danse... This may lead to a full story sometime future, but it's a start so far! After a couple of months working hard in school and at work, I'm glad I got back into writing again, I think I just needed a long break away from writing for the Skyrim fandom ugh... I'm really not the best storyteller, but I do it for fun on my spare time whenever I can!_**

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It's been three months since the Brotherhood of Steel annihilated the Institute. But at the same time, I lost my son, Shaun. Some days, I still wonder if there was another way that I could have saved him. The Brotherhood praised and honored my help in accomplishing their overall mission. I'm at the rank of Sentinel. To be honest, I don't even know if it was all worth it. Since that day, I've been able to cope with my son's death, keeping myself occupied training new recruits at the air port, assisting Scribe Haylen and Knight Rhys in Cambridge. It took me some time to accept and adapt to this post war wasteland, the Commonwealth. The life that I had over 200 years ago was gone, and I will never get it back.

After a long stressful week at the Prydwen, the Brotherhood headquarters, I returned to my private settlement established at the old Red Rocket tire station near Sanctuary Hills. It used to be a small and peaceful neighborhood. I used to live there… before the war. Preston Garvey of the Minute Men now has the settlement in good hands after I helped him and the survivors down in Concord. I normally don't visit there much, usually I try not to. Being at the Red Rocket station was good enough for me. It's distant from everyone and everywhere else.

I convinced Danse to move in here with me about a month ago. Originally, he stayed at a pre war military listening post, out east in the Commonwealth. I figured since the Institute and their Courser synths were no longer around to reclaim missing synths, it would be safe for him to relocate. Danse was hesitant to leave the listening post because he is exiled from the Brotherhood. He feared that stray Brotherhood soldiers may see him and try to kill him. I told him casualties in this area of the Commonwealth were down to a minimum, and Maxson stopped sending out large teams of soldiers. So there was no reason for Brotherhood soldiers to continue to search here. The Minute Men knew where we lived, so they were always around on the lookout of raiders, ghouls or super mutants. Lately, nothing tragic happened. Still, I never let my guard down when I'm wandering the wasteland alone. I constantly watched my own back making sure no one followed me back to the tire station. He was never alone at the settlement, Dogmeat was always there with him. He's very fond of Danse. I'm glad my boys get along so well.

As I arrived at the tire station grounds, Dogmeat barked and happily ran up to me, with his tail wagging. I bent down playfully rubbing his fur.

"Hey, boy! I missed you too."

I could hear the weapon station being used inside the workshop area, where I kept my sets of power armor, armor and weapons. It must be Danse using the work station. He's always keeping himself busy, which is a good thing.

I understand it was hard for him at first to get used to his true identity as a synth created by the Institute. He was in the Brotherhood for years, and they completely brainwashed him. Enforcing their agendas and beliefs into each soldier. Embracing the fact that the Institute and their synths were the Commonwealth's biggest enemy. Then it end up turning against him, it changed his entire life around causing him to be exiled from the Brotherhood when they discovered he was a synth. It was thanks to me that I stood up for Danse's identity—saving his life. I refused to carry out Maxson's ridiculous orders.

But now, he's a new and better man. Because of me, I made his life complete. I didn't care if he was a synth. Everything he'd done for the Brotherhood was for the good of mankind. If it wasn't for him encouraging me to join the, I think I wouldn't live long enough to at least find my son alive, even though he's gone. The only one that matters most to me is Danse.

I placed my weapon bag on the counter next to the doorway before quietly entering the workshop. Danse stopped the machine and placed down the tool. We exchanged smiles for a moment, then embraced each other with our warm arms. He instantly gave me a long deep kiss to the lips. I lost my train of thought into the kiss. It was only a week since the last time I was home, but it felt like an eternity. Judging from the instant welcome home embrace and kisses, he wasn't upset that I was gone that long.

Danse sighed happily. "I missed you terribly."

"And I missed you too… you have no idea," I gave him a kiss, and relaxed myself in his arms for a moment, resting my head on his left shoulder. Literally, he has no idea how much I missed having the warmth of his body around mine.

"You look exhausted. I think you shouldn't work on anything tonight, and get some rest instead," Danse made a good suggestion.

I laughed a little and looked back up at him. "Well, I didn't really walk from the Prydwen all the way here. The vertibird dropped me off at Concord. But I guess you're right. It has been a stressful week for me."

"You and me both."

"You? Stressed?" I raised my brow.

"Eva, you know that I cannot go anywhere in the Commonwealth without you by my side."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry that you feel... well… stuck." I caressed his cheek gently and sighed.

"I'm well aware at the rank of Sentinel, their duties can be overwhelming. There is no need to apologize for your work."

"Then what were you stressed about?" I asked.

It's just strange for him to be that way. If that continues, and god forbid if his programming ends up malfunctioning, it wouldn't be a pleasant visit to Doctor Amari. I mean, it never happened before and I'm not implying that it will. It was a random silly thought I wanted to bring up to him in a joking matter, but maybe I shouldn't. It would probably give him too much on his plate to concern about. So far Danse has been fine the way I see it.

"I worry about you, Eva. Every time you leave, I always wonder will I see you again. If I lost you, I don't know what I'd do."

His words made my heart heavy. Honestly, sometimes I do fear how terrible he would be if I ever went missing. I know for sure he would go through the ends of the earth searching for me if that ever happened. But what if I died? He'd be hopeless.

"Danse, don't… please don't say these things." My voice cracked. "Look, there's nothing to worry about anymore. I'm right here," I kissed him again and again.

"I'm so happy you're back."

I sighed with a cheerful smile. "Anyway. How about you look inside the weapon bag. I managed to find more of your favorite," I winked.

Danse's eye widen. He knew what I meant to say was that I brought him Fancy Lads Snacks.

"Don't spoil me too much," he smiled and walked out of the workshop, making his way to the bag that I left outside.

I giggled a little. "I think spoil is a bit of an overstatement."

Spent about a couple minutes scouting around the settlement. I checked on the turrets making sure they were still fully loaded and working properly. A few times these babies had went off a couple times before because a couple of asshole-raiders and super mutants thought it would be wise to attack us. It appeared during the days I wasn't around, no one tried to shoot up the place. Everything seemed to be normal.

I went inside the bedroom and unhooked the latch to my Pip-Boy, removing it before laying in bed to rest. I left it on the usually spot on the small wooden table next to the mattress. Them off came the armor pieces, which I left all of them on the work desk at the end of the room. I reached for the back of my neck, grabbing two metal chain attached to my holo tags and removed them. One set of holo tags was mine that had my name and rank of the Brotherhood of Steel. The other set used to belong to Danse before his exile. That day I stood up to Maxson and saved Danse's life, Maxson didn't ask for his holo tags. Danse told me to keep them. I wear them together with mine, knowing that it's a piece of him that will always with me whenever we're distant from each other.

As I turned slightly to my right looking over my shoulder, Danse was just coming into the room. He closes the door. I stare down, unfastening the buckles around the waist of my uniform and the collar. Danse moved closer to me, with his chest against my back. He reached for my hands, stopping me from going any further after I was done releasing the buckles. I turned my head to the right, meeting his eyes. We were silently staring at each other. I knew where he was going with this.

Danse took my hands, gently moved them down at my sides. His right hand reached for the zipper at my collar, slowly pulling it down while still keeping his eyes fixed to mine. Once it was fully unzipped, he takes my collar and pealed the uniform to my back first, revealing my bare figure underneath. A sudden chill hit my body as my skin was exposed to the air. Not only that, Danse bonded his body close to mine instantly, inhaling the scent between my neck and shoulder, the small bristles of his beard brushed against me. His hand gripped tightly around my waist, pulling me closer to feel his erected groin below my lower back. This man is a tease, but I loved him for it.

I turned around facing him. He took me by the back of my thighs and lifts me up with strong arms, which surprised me. My back was pinned against the door that was next to us. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and my legs gripped tightly around him, while he kept my body up steady with all his strength. He pressed his groin hard between my legs, teasing me more. Our lips joined for a long passionate kiss. I broke the kiss for a moment to catch my breath.

"Danse, I need you inside me… right now," I moaned.

Danse released me, my feet were back on the ground. He brought my body around to the bed. I turned my back to him and leaned forward, resting half of myself on the bed. He gently undressed the rest of my uniform down to my knees, exposing the rest of my body, but just in underwear. He also stripped them down. I could feel they were soaking wet from the foreplay. That was the fastest I have ever been turned on by him.

He quickly unfastened the belt from his pants, pulling them down with the boxers. I waited for him to take me from behind and he did. I moaned loudly as he thrust himself inside me with a dominate force. It was one of my favorite positions I loved doing with him. I could hear the pleasuring sound of our skins slapping, as he repeatedly pound his hips against my ass. Danse moaned and grunted through his breath. I've always loved how his moans were. That sexy sound never fails to turned me on so much. He slapped my ass on the left side, I squealed. I grabbed on to the covers of the bed tightly, feeling every single pleasure he kept thrusting into me until I came loudly screaming out my love's name.

We removed the rest of our clothes and joined in bed, cuddling closely in each other's embrace for a while. Staring deep into one another's eyes in silence realizing how much we missed each other. There is nothing else more comfortable that being close to Danse's nude form under a warm blanket. After being distant for an entire week, I needed this.

We slept through the night soundly, and into the next day. I yawned and stretched my arms back, then slide myself between Danse's arm to cuddle close with him again. He was already awake and gave me a kiss on my forehead. I looked up at him, and moved up my left hand, gently touching with my finger tips in circular motions on his chest.

"I have to get another artifact for Haylen," I said. "I could use your help again."

Danse smiled. "I'm ready when you are."

I smiled back. He would always accompany me during my small missions. It didn't matter to me he's exiled from the Brotherhood, I still loved having him by my side, and I always have ever since the day I started. We make a great team.

After a few minutes, we got out of bed and took our time to get dressed. I put on my usual dirty purple flannel shirt and a black leather vest on top, and dark grey jeans. I was hoping Danse wasn't going to use his power armor in the workshop this time. Thankfully he wasn't. I mean, I'm not saying it's a bad thing, I just love seeing him outside of it. Danse and I helped each other putting on our armor pieces. I was used to putting them on by myself, but I don't ever mind his help.

"I need to get something from the workshop," Danse said.

I nodded. "Yeah, I have to go in there anyway and make a few adjustments to my recon rifle."

We exited the bed room and walked our way to the workshop into the next room. I stopped after going through the door way and held out my hand to stopped Danse from going pass me.

"Wait..." I whispered.

There was a man in the room. He was wearing a black leather coat, dark gloves, heavy combat boots, and sunglasses. He was well armed with an advanced laser rifle and a few other tech gadgets around his utility belt. I didn't recognize this man at all, but certainly he wasn't any of the Minute Men. Sometimes they do come to this settlement to watch out of enemies, but something was off with this guy. He had to be hostile judging from the looks of him. How the hell did he get inside our settlement alive? The turrets outside didn't set off at all. This guy would have been already dead if we did hear the gun firing, but we didn't hear a thing from the outside, not even Dogmeat's barking. If he shot them down, we would have heard it too. But the terminal to monitor them is in our bedroom room—we just left there.

I quickly removed my pistol I aiming at the encounter. "Who are you? You're not supposed to be here," I said.

"Put your weapon down, solider," his tone sounded intimidating.

I slowly lowered my pistol as I was ordered to, because if didn't he'd probably shoot the both of us. Something was strangely familiar about this guy and at the same time very off about him… Wait a minute, I've seen that black leather coat before, but it was a while ago. He wasn't a raider. He's… a Courser? But that's impossible! The Institute, they're gone! So are the Coursers and most of the hostile synths. How the hell are the Coursers still around?

"No… It can't. It can't be," I was lost for words. "You're supposed to be destroyed… ALL of you."

"Please, step aside."

"Who the hell are you, and who do you work for?" I asked.

"All you need to know is that I work for the Institute."

"That's bullshit. The Institute is gone!" It's been three god damn months. They're gone! I was the one who set the detonation to the place, and witness it with my very own eyes like everyone else in the Brotherhood of Steel. We didn't missed a step at all.

"That synth is coming with me."

"If you want him, you'll have to get through me first," There was no way in hell I was going to let him take Danse away from me. I would be his funeral if he tried to.

"M7-97, initialize factory reset, authorization beta 80 pileus."

Suddenly, something weird was happening to Danse. His eyes instantly rolled back and then his head dropped facing the ground. He stood there motionless. What the hell just happened? What's going on with him?

"Danse?" I called him, but he didn't respond. I went closer to pat his shoulder to get his attention. "Danse? Oh god, Danse!" I shook his shoulder trying to wake him up. His eyes were still closed and didn't make a single movement. "You son of a—" I turned but the Courser vanished from that spot. Oh my god. No…. no this cannot be happening. I remembered that Coursers knew reset codes to shut down synths—that was how the Institute could bring them back to their facility. But how was this even possible? The Institute had been destroyed! I let out an outburst of weeping as I kept trying to wake up Danse in his state, calling out his name over and over.

"Danse, please wake up!" I cried more tears. I brought up his face closer to mind staring at his emotionless face. It was no use, but I still kept trying and hoping he would come back to me…

I felt my body being roughly shook as if someone was trying to wake me up from my sleep. My screams were still bursting loudly while my eyes were shut. I could hear my name being called out loud. Wait… what's going on?

"Eva, wake up!" Danse was calling my name.

I finally opened my eyes, gasping deeply as I felt my heart beating so fast like it was about to burst out of my chest. Danse was glaring down at me, the look in his eyes he was scared as hell. Oh my god… it wasn't real. He's still alive.

"Eva, it's me!" Danse caressed my cheek, his warm soothing touch began to calm my mind. "You were screaming in your sleep."

"Oh Danse!" I cried. I embraced my arms around him, at the same time as he did. We held each other tightly. He brought the bed sheet over my shoulders to keep my body warm again, stroking his hand gently around my back, and the other through my hair. I buried my face into his chest and weep loudly.

It was just a dream… But it felt so real. At that moment, I thought I had lost him. I never had any nightmares like this ever since the search of my son. This one… it was terribly real. My biggest fear is losing Danse, the only person that matters the world to me. I've already lost my husband and my son… I don't want to lose him.

"Danse…" I stared up at him. "I… I thought… I lost you," My eyes were clouded with tears. I didn't want to describe the entire dream, but he knows that it had something to do with him and I'm deeply afraid of it happening in real life.

"Shhh, I'm right here," Danse whispered. He planted a small kiss on my forehead. Then he lifted my chin to kiss my lips. I rested my head on his chest and gripped his left hand tightly, as he cradled me in his arms like an infant. I exhaled deeply with relief, knowing that we were safe in each other's arms.

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 ** _It was very painful to write this, honestly. If that ever happened in the game, I think I would throw the controller out the window_ T_T**


End file.
